Tuesday, August 29, 2006

Ready

After 2 Erdinger and a wee bit of hoegaarden, I am ready for my bed. Been thinking a lot about where I'm heading in life, companionship...my sense of freedom and all. Wonder why I seem to dwell so much into reflecting on these but perhaps everyone does as well..i dunno. I guess they are important issues at this stage of a person's life.

While I continue to sleep on these things, I can only rest assured that God has a plan and I have to learn to listen to Him. Many things in life we took for granted and by the time we lose them, there is absolutely no more turning back of time so I can only pray that I will never need to live these pain one more time, God help me.

Heavy eyelids...sleeping...sleeping....zzz

joe

Sunday, August 27, 2006

Sunday

Woke up to a cozy, comfortable Sunday morning with rain and feel good echos from the conversation just a few hours earlier in Sentosa. An eventful day with adventurous handphone hunt, one-on-one pool tutorial, yummy laksa, stroll along east coast and a walk with a husky named Bunny.."weird name still i thought"..all in the name of good company =)

One hell of a week coming right up in preparation to the next holiday workshop, Goosey Goosey..,crossing my fingers for absolutely zero hiccup!

Thank you Lord for preserving me, only You see everything and I ask for Your guidance in the path that I take in life. Help me to listen to Your voice and heed your calling Lord.
In Jesus name amen.

Joe

Thursday, August 24, 2006

I smiled

Strange folks appears in our life at funny times, almost like angels sent to pick us right up to our feet. The last few days has given me quite a few insights about choices people made...what they are based on, how they choose to live with those choices...some cried over the choices, while some simply suppress their heart with their mind. Why do we engage ourselves in such a tiresome game of relationship?

Meeting up with people who shares their tales of love and regrets made me realized all the more that making a choice is about making it for themselves and not for others, that if we believed in pursuing our own happiness, no one should have the right to stop us...and we take ownership of these choices.

Can't thank you enough for sharing Ms Lee, you are inspiring in your own fashion for your own struggles. I can only encourage you to let your choices be made around you, instead of you living around your choices...it can be over bearing. You know you'v earned my support at the end of the day no matter how you choose to live your life! =)

So why do we engage ourselves in the tiresome game of "love" if there's such a thing... maybe nothing can be gained at the end of the day...maybe there will be light at the end of the tunnel, but maybe its more because callings have been placed in our heart to reach out to those you care for by God, with a life span maybe but who would knows?

Ending this blog with a prayer;

Lord, Bless my friend Elyn, for the hurt she endured nurse her Lord, and grant Thy love and peace unto her life.
Bless my friend Joanne, that she may find in her heart the direction to carry on her walk, and the salvation of our Lord Jesus Christ be upon her too.
Bless my grandpa, that Lord You have mercy on him and take the cup of suffering from him. I pray that Thy salvation be upon his tired body.
Bless Melissa, that she will find strength in You Lord to be just and wise in her ways. Protect her O Lord, that she will never depart from Your light.
Bless me O Lord, give me the courage to move on and hold on to Your words Lord.
I pray in Jesus Blessed Name, Amen.

Axe.

Sunday, August 20, 2006

Dopod

As bad as times are for me emotionally, I forced my way to Hello Singtel to reward myself with my long awaited mobile and it is chosen, yes...the much talked about "Dopod", one hell of a cool machine for a cool persona!

Well shit always happen to me ad indeed I can't seem to sync the device to my laptop. Gonna ask for help tomorrow at some technical help desk, as I always had to sort it out.

And we have come to the end of The Very Pornographic Caterpillar so hoorah!! Back to the office for now.

Boring Sunday..bye bye..

joe

Saturday, August 19, 2006

Bring it on.

Bad things seem to have fallen in love with me of late...from my break up with the gir i love to my grandpa failing body and critical condition. My mum is so victimised by all that had happened.

How much challenges can one take in such a short time?

Lord, take charge of my life and give me the strength to carry on.

At a time like this, I will standby my mum and support her when she needs to fall, challenges are harsh in life but what the heck..if they come, bring it on...

joe

Thursday, August 17, 2006

On my way to gym

Trained really hard with Miudinho in the gym on wednesday. Realized that we'v lost so much stamina and technical skill...well you gotta do what you gotta do man. I smell the axe in the air...ain't no love for me now, only my art and God.

Love you Lord, preserve me and keep me in your way.

joe
TO THE WHOLE WORLD!

STOP SAYING YOU ARE SORRY!!!!! I AM MOVING ON...

I AM FINE!

I HAVE FALLEN BUT I'M CLIMBING BACK UP.

STOP SAYING YOU ARE SORRY!!!

JOE

Tuesday, August 15, 2006

My interest in alchemy..refinement of the human spirit

The alchemists held that the metals are one in essence, and spring from the same seed in the womb of nature, but are not all equally matured and perfect, gold being the highest product of Nature's powers. In gold, the alchemist saw a picture of the regenerate man, resplendent with spiritual beauty, overcoming all temptations and proof against evil; whilst he regarded lead -- the basest of the metals -- as typical of the sinful and unregenerate man, stamped with the hideousness of sin and easily overcome by temptation and evil; for whilst gold withstood the action of fire and all known corrosive liquids (save aqua regia alone), lead was most easily acted upon.

We are told that the Philosopher's Stone, which would bring about the desired grand transmutation, is of a species with gold itself and purer than the purest; understood in the mystical sense this means that the regeneration of man can be effected only by Goodness itself -- in terms of Christian theology, by the Power of the Spirit of Christ. The Philosopher's Stone was regarded as symbolical of Christ Jesus, and in this sense we can understand the otherwise incredible powers attributed to it.

This is the Spirit of Truth, which the world cannot comprehend without the interposition of the Holy Ghost, or without the instruction of those who know it. The same is of a mysterious nature, wondrous strength, boundless power.... By Avicenna this Spirit is named the Soul of the World. For, as the Soul moves all the limbs of the Body, so also does this Spirit move all bodies. And as the Soul is in all the limbs of the Body, so also is this Spirit in all elementary created things. It is sought by many and found by few. It is beheld from afar and found near; for it exists in every thing, in every place, and at all times. It has the powers of all creatures; its action is found in all elements, and the qualities of all things are therein, even in the highest perfection . . . it heals all dead and living bodies without other medicine, converts all metallic bodies into gold, and there is nothing like unto it under Heaven




















This is family ...
Mum is back

Mum is finally back from Scotland..with much tale to tell of course with all the terrorist alert going in UK. Can tell that she had a great time with Sis and kids, my lovely niece and nephew, so darn adorable.

Remembering how she was worried about me since last week makes my heart ache, poor mother, I love you.

I'm slowly recovering and Albert can vouch for me that my appetite is good! Turning my depression to determination is probably the best thing to do now, exercise Joe..ain't gonna waste my life being pathetic.

For God, for mum, for myself.

joe

Sunday, August 13, 2006




I love this place, can't you tell? I'm the first one to reach and I even smell of this place...

Jubilee Hall, hoorah!


























Pretty little sanctuary in the middle of Monkey Forest...dream and maybe you'l find it with your heart.

(Otherwise you can fly there via SQ or one of the budget air for better bargains. )
The Mixed Up Chameleon

Working in Jubilee Hall for this production called the mixed up chameleon..really loves it!! such a funky little dude tat hops around in the elmo fashion and really adorable I can keep it as a pet!

Well basically the story is about how this mixed up chameleon long to become or rather, possess the characteristic of different animals that he met in the zoo. He got his wishes and became real funny with different parts of the different animals on him. He soon became hungry and long for his food (fly....gross...) but find himself in the situation where he can no longer do what he loves most. He made his final wish, and turned himself back to a chameleon. He caught the fly with his long, sticky tongue and then started hopping around again and I was like so happy haha!!

Well I guess people are like that aren't they? Hoping to have what others have and realising that what makes them complete is not what others are but who they really are. Good revelation at this time of my life too =)

Well basically finding that little entertainment I can get from my job to cheer me up.

Another tiring day actually but ended it with an enlightening dinner with Aimin who is flying off to London real soon. Good luck girl!

joe

Saturday, August 12, 2006


Me and Honda stucked in a stupid jam on route to Jubilee Hall...
Prolonged infatuation, lust and trust

A tired day at Jubilee Hall which ended with spectacular fire works display.

Interesting to reflect that my perspective about relationship has changed so much within a mere two weeks.

I used to think that this world spins for love and that it conquers all odds, believing that believing it will give me the blessing of true love too. But I can now see it from another point of view too, that this romantic mindset can be the work of a prolonged infatuation, lust or trust between two person. What is love after 36 years of marriage, 5 children and 6 grandchildren? What is love after more than 3 wives, at 3 different countries, all at the same time? And what is love after 6 years of companionship, two pillars by the grace of God and one hell of a depression, walking out of each other's life?

The beauty of fireworks was never how beautiful it peforms on the night sky, its always the story it tells of the people who are watching it together. The only thing that came to my mind was how much I could share the moment with people who really matters in my life, whoever and wherever they are.

Thank God You are here to catch me when I fall, make me strong and keep my faith in You Lord.

The journey to recovery starts with the grace of a forgiving heart.

joe

Friday, August 11, 2006

Bored to death in the confinement of office hour..

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...really?

How many who went through crisis and depression really becomes stronger...statistically? I'v often ponder on the truth of that sentence. It suddenly occurs to me that I am now challenged to become stronger by my own circumstances...how will I be remembered...what choices awaits...how will my life unfold in the days, months or years to come?

The tide of life carries one on a roller coaster ride and if we hold on long enough, we may see the beautiful beach and half naked native women with arm pit hair waving and singing to you...yea, that's life man, you get your rewards, sometimes...

I thank God for bringing me through another day, He will nurse me back to sanity and obedience. Love you Lord, always had, always will. Amen.

signing out of here

joe

Thursday, August 10, 2006















Quiet moment after the surf...thinking of a distant love dear to my heart.


The board named Red.





















Wise man:

Women ...they come and go all the time...
Your art..it stays with you okay??

...wise man..(fat one)

A single journey in and out, stepping on, and breathing in the shade of freedom.

Who knows what treasures await your next step, move on, for the world is so...

...wise man (thin one)

Revelation of emotions, dawn of a new me

6 years, a time too long to forget, too short to cherish...indeed earthly joy passes as quickly as your heartbeat but only the love of God endures the treachery of time.

The end of a season marks the beginning of a new one, how and with whom will I walk with. Flowers will fall but the wind still blows. How I felt cannot be unfelt, but what remains does not matter.

Love my friends, love my family, love God. And how I wish I can love the gal whom had stolen my heart 6 years ago.

Life goes on, sun will rise and I will keep on walking.