angbelievable

2008-07-12T00:24:00.000-07:00

Sunday Evening at Ponggol Beach, just another Capoeira session =)
Could use a bit of Sun set here =(

2007-08-26T17:44:00.000-07:00

Me and little brother in the gym. I call him Pau.

2007-08-26T17:31:00.000-07:00

And yet another phase

The tired body collapes, resting lazily on the bed...breathing in the happenings of the day and meditating those coming in the following weeks. Muay thai and jujutsu has made moving around more painful than usual. The smell of the gym is slowly fading away as I made way for Esplanade next week, off with the gym clothings and back to office attire...(shake head).

Well looking at this as a new phase in my life after the good old rustic act 3, entire different dimension with new people and new energy.

Mo visiting in a week's time, i simply cannot wait. Thai food..Japanese food, Brazillian bbq..we will have it all =)

Loving my darken tattoo and wow guess what, Bruce is finally turning yakuza after toking abt it for the last 10 years...what a wait. palnning for my alpha omega and all-seeing eye December. Richard is the man...charming and funny as always.

Have a good day.

2007-08-13T12:35:00.000-07:00

A lazy afternoon at the gym beside robertson quay...

2007-07-10T08:12:00.000-07:00

My beautiful darling.

2007-07-06T12:58:00.000-07:00

hehe cute litle Lucia. lil michael attempts on photography..work harder boy, dats a 6/10.

2007-07-06T12:55:00.000-07:00

2007-07-06T12:52:00.000-07:00

Geylang supper with the most adorable kids ever...

2007-07-02T08:41:00.000-07:00

My darling niece and nephew from Scotland back with mummy Ava, my eldest sis. From Scotland..smells of the highlands =)

2007-06-30T11:23:00.000-07:00

me in la la land...

2007-06-30T02:29:00.001-07:00

a quiet moment after capoeira...looks like nrth canal road will get a bit noiser with our new bantus neighbour. =)

2007-06-27T06:18:00.000-07:00

My sister =) ..... okay not, nabeh...my niece, sigh.

2007-06-26T12:48:00.001-07:00

27th June, 07

Feeling rather peaceful and in one with myself at the moment. Did timberland in the afternoon, i love the backstage of a runway...most people wld imagine why hehe. rushing between the clothes is really tough, felt like the change parade in saf, even the army dun practice that nowadays. There's this really bodoh caucasian model who walked straight out without a blink when the emcee ask for my name and i was like "fucked!!" and the emcee went, "oh you dun look very joe..can i have joe please.." so embarassing.

The capoeira part was good though, the percussionist is this argentinian guy who seriously meditated before the show. Changing into the abadas is just damn old school good feeling cuz those timberland stuff were too heavy for me.

Staring into my laptop in the middle of the night, i drifted into a certain space familiar and warm, Mo smiling and holding up her hands to me. Nice.

Absolutely delighted at some point to know that the past is history and having something to anticipate makes the future brighter then other days.

Have a good life.

2007-06-22T12:37:00.001-07:00

Ridiculous

Had supper with Jackass and heard from him the most ridiculous story about me. Joe needs help? What the...

Just to get the statistics right, I work 2 hours a day to get the same pay as most executive rats out there, freaking fitter than most 18 year olds, look better than i was in a certain 6 years of my life and also receive more than enough attention from above average ladies whom i fancy. I need help?

Making assumptions about my state of mind and well being is seriously an unnecessary waste of time and more often than not, causes grave misunderstanding and fucked up misjudegement. So whoever is considering passing another redundant remark on me needing help, fuck off, go learn the ancient wisdom of silence is golden.

pissed @ 3.44am on 23rd june 2007.

joe

2007-06-22T01:56:00.000-07:00

Fed up la, gg home after a failed attempt to get nice tan. Went for a fitting for a timberland show on tuesday. Gg for Capoeira later, show tmr.

2007-06-21T12:11:00.000-07:00

She's Mo, Walapon Ang Pemapom, 30, gorgeous, kind hearted, mature, gentle and she is my thai wife. What do I like about her? Everything.

2007-06-21T12:09:00.001-07:00

Lalalalalallala....

2007-06-21T11:59:00.000-07:00

Taking a random shot in the room. Oh Bruce can send me the pictures from Chiang Mai soon please?

2007-06-21T11:57:00.000-07:00

Muay Thai?? Joe??? huh?

wat the...such a weird transition, me gg back to muay thai once more. Recently got both my certification from the world muay thai council and the Confederation of Capoeira thanks to Mestre Luiz.

Well left act 3 and looking forward to teaching in schools hehe...

let's see how this new chapter unfolds.

Love All, Love God..

Joe

2007-05-17T09:28:00.000-07:00

Misbehaving at the courtyard

2007-05-17T09:11:00.000-07:00

Me and my Adik! She is really my adik, see the resemblance?

2007-05-10T08:30:00.000-07:00

The Ring Leader passing instructions..disciplo pretending to be serious at backgroud.

2007-05-10T08:28:00.000-07:00

Mestre Luizinho's workshop...a esquiva lateral in action. Location: SPANS

2007-04-30T11:09:00.000-07:00

The Infamous Leap of Victory at Cairnhill Arts Centre

2007-04-30T10:50:00.000-07:00

Fooling around with cameras in office

2007-04-02T05:54:00.000-07:00

and my partner in crime in pattaya wahahahahahha...

2007-04-02T05:33:00.000-07:00

me and my sun burnt cramped face. surf board sponsored by prince, location: room in burleigh.

nice cool weather after lunch, great surf in the morning! ...

Mestre Luiz and his kiddo Lucas...very very cute boy!! hug me when i was at the train station, wished i have my own..

Gold Coast

Stayed at Burleigh Bay, really cool and quiet side of Gold Coast...so darn lucky to stay with Mestre Luizinho who stays just by the beach..dopest.

2007-04-02T05:28:00.000-07:00

A good shower of blessing before i went off for my little trip to gold coast and pattaya..

2007-02-14T04:42:00.000-08:00

The lonesome valentine

Rather refreshing this feeling, a lonesome valentine, first one in 6 years really. Doesn't hurt at all surprisingly. While my friends are having hell lotsa fun with their girlfriends on this special day, it just is another ordinary day for me.

I guess the value of valentine has been diluted over time with all the commercialized activities and social norms established for people "in love", better to just walk away hoping that love doesn't just happens on valentine's day but everyday.

Hell why am i even wrting about how to love, i no loner know how to.

My candidates:

1) Ms SL: Elegant with the ruggedness i look for in a woman. Nice built and an air of mystery surrounding her. Turned on.

2) Ms P: Exotic, loud and courageous. Have that "madly deeply in love" syndrome with me and I'm loving it. Turned on.

3) Ms YN: Never seen before, but very very infatuated with her. Turn on but no action needed, unfortunately.

Well all in all nothing is really firmed so that is why I am typing htis weird valentine's not on V-day.

boring joe..freaking boring..

2007-02-05T06:40:00.000-08:00

Asked.

Answered: Ain't gonna love no more.

2007-01-26T04:48:00.000-08:00

goodbye tochi

It saddens me somehow to read about how tochi was sentenced to death, eventually led to his final moment this morning. Do we really have the authority to condemn someone to his physical death? Even for saddam, yes, part of me wished he served some kind of life imprisonment rather than die for the crime he commited.

One life two choices, to live as a "good" person or a "bad" one. One life but one too many desires...would God look at us and allow one's life to be judged and condemned like saddam or tochi.

tochi might be really innocent, or guilty but that really doesn't matter cuz he's dead now. But he also have the potential to change life and becomes a cornerstone for many, that's a potential for even the worst of sinners.

show me your way Lord..show me Your way..

2007-01-25T01:10:00.000-08:00

Colleagues

Work sucks but i have really fun colleagues to work with from my malay sister to my chinese sister and then my peranakan mother..hahah, cracks me up working w them. hmmm as to who is the mystery girl in the first pic..well well...

2006-12-26T08:27:00.000-08:00

An Insanity Stronger than Love

Passed by Serangoon Road late one night..last week. A couple of junctions before Ptg Psr...a familiar sight caught my eyes as I drove away from him. A stranger for sure, but nontheless a familiar sight.

Remembered how I used to see him wandering alone and shouting at passer bys at the bus stop..smelling nasty and always without fail in the same old shirt and pants. The pleasantness then gone today, but that look on his face remains unchanged, an insane stranger.

Funny to think of it this way that insanity in general has that long lasting effect in people, when can someone actually be insanely in love? I dun believe in that anyway, anymore at least.

Joe

2006-12-15T08:59:00.000-08:00

Haven of rest
The period to take a breather has come with the end of my last paper. Won't be touching anything till end January...4 more modules and sayonara to SIM. YOSH...

So happen that this also is my lull period in ACT 3, while time is running out there, the season to look for a new job is also coming closer each day. Gonna try to clear some off and leave to go Gold Coast for some encounter with Zambiacongo, to train with Mestre Luizinho. Com'on Joe..show him your resolve!! I will be good!

Think my strength is slowly but surely coming back with BJJ training and now also a weekly roda with old boys on Sunday near padang. At some points in life, we just snap out of that slack mode and realize an urgency to go back on track, guess this is the buzz that is going on around the old boys =) Busy producing a video now haha so much fun this holiday period!

New tattoo is on finally!! Damn those who havn't seen it...freaking pain ok, but worth every second of that pain cuz its beautiful, because i think so. Yosh!

Went out with mummee last night, can really fall in love with this charming lady. But alas, i am 15 years late from my mum's womb. Damn..hahaha, silly me. Just as well, singlehood is good, gives me time to take a step back to reflect on life and what makes it complete. Right now, i love only God, my family, capoeira and the close nakamas who stood close to me in my heart.

God bless family and friends, simply.

joe

2006-11-16T01:37:00.000-08:00

Calmness after storm

Last two weeks had drained every single bit of energy from my body with storyteller shadow. The early mornings spent working and late nights spent hanging out with gang must have given me a promotion of at least one or two more wrinkles...darker eye rings...

The departure of terrapin puppet theatre sort of released me from this tight schedule a lil bit but still gonna burn my saturdays for at least 3 consecutive weeks. nabeh..

Have been clearing my off in lieus with nakamas in sentosa this week was really good..after a nice and comfotable sun baking morning, we headed on to ikea for swedish meatball and hotdogs!! (rewind...we had breakfast at 8ish at seah im hawker..fucking proud of bruce!!) And following that chill at queensway shopping centre for shoe hunting, didn't really buy the capoeira shoe i was eyeing for but got myself a nice charismatic berms...cool stuff, totally. The cap is too darn tempting..hmmmm, maybe...

Another stupid weekend burnt this week with fantasmagoria on sat till late and then theatre interactive at labrador park on Sunday afternoon. Dear Lord, i am coming to Church this week, woohoooooooooooo...

Emotional department: Dry. Concluded..

Not a good sign..growing fatter each day....prepare urself for a lean mean fighting machine..January!

God bless the world,

joe

2006-11-01T12:13:00.000-08:00

Happy Sad Man

Was at zouk with Jackass and Eugene with some of his other friends. Man was that boy drunk...after forcing down endless stream of long isl tea and graveyard down hia throat. He turned psychotic with murderous intent on the dance floor...a beast??

Anyway, my pissed drunk nakama finally got knocked out by the alcohol and started crying, well as his regular nick suggest, a happy sad man? I reflected over a cigarette from Eugene about how depressant heightens up emotion in people. I just hope that the tears would ease a wound in my friend's heart and soul...maybe its regret(s) ...remorse...or can be other things of course. But in this new year of his life, I genuinely hope he be a Happy Man..and not sad anymore.

What am I when I'm drunk, smiling or crying? Screaming or singing...? Life is a story, to me, and the treacheries one faces becomes mere memories for the next moon. Feel it but not feel too much? Learn to let go when it gets too hot to hold on to? To fully grasp the balance in life is tough and we can only walk and allow ourselves to fall when we need to, hopefully with angels from God to cushion our fall.

Love you Father, forgive us of our trespasses. Thank you for preserving our life and grant us your blessings in our family, health, work and most of all, spiritual refinement.
In Jesus name, amen.

joe

2006-10-22T07:11:00.000-07:00

Supper with Kenji San, Higashi No Tomodachi..ie..Nakamo desu.

Post Exam Bliss...

Watching anime was a huge sin during the pre exam period but after all the dominant design, Schumpeter curves, Anti-trust Policy and national system of innovation, I embraced one piece in its glorious beauty today.

Had a late supper last night at geylang with gang and then head home for a short rest before sending Stacy to the Airport. Went to Church and then obeyed God by resting on Sunday...a full day of nothing but sleep and anime hehe..

Key point in service today was how everyone is a potential and how we can either through faith attain fulfillment in our life or go the other way to disintegration. Guess its a bout knowing that above the law in this world is the law of God's grace, and as such, through Christ all things are made possible.

Still in my emotional sleep mode but guess I dun have to worry about jumping into any relationship or finding one, when its time to harvest we will know =) so leave it to God's will. I seek only to obey.

Praying for all my friends to be in good shape and a blessed life, giving and kind to all.

joe

2006-09-24T04:37:00.000-07:00

Supper, beer and brotherhood.

A lethal mix of poison for the body when supper, beer and buddies get together. I have no qualms with enjoying life but I think they are getting to my health hehehe..gg through my rough patches were made easier with the comfort from my buddies but my body is like giving in to the late nights and unnatural meal time.

Am just about getting better so yah that's how my weekends were, spent bedridden, except for my lil escapade to Darren's place for Capoeira. Putting the sickness aside, I'c come to understand Jackson, Bruce and Eugene a lil better over this time for emotional highs and lows, they'v been there all the time =) hoorah!

So the golden question, how important is love (from a woman) at this point of my life..?? hmmmmm...it definitely is something good to have, but above it will still be God, family, brotherhood and the Love for life. Don't ask why Capoeira is not it cuz Capoeira is in the blood already hahaha..

joe

2006-09-20T23:36:00.000-07:00

Down...

Down with flu and fever on a fine thursday. Had too much fun this whole week on Tuesday with boys at Suria and Wednesday when old boys congregated at the gym.

sleepy sleepy....can hardly move my ass in the morning.

joe

2006-09-15T10:04:00.000-07:00

Fierce?

This is my idea of what my Capoeira logo would constitute of..a lion..majestic and graceful, the berimbau as the root of our movement, Capoeira in white for the purity of our attitude and our motto, amor e respeito meaning love and respect, the values that all Capoeirista must carry with whereverthey go. Well I guess red and white part of the work of my patriotism =)

Well I'm done with one whole week of intensive lectures!! Dr Malik was especially nice on the last day, generous with "study guides" and making smart comment about examinations. I'm glad its over and now we are down to serious zooming in of topics to study for the real thing! i'm all psyched up for it!! focus joe....focus!

Zi Yan (Liang Yi's bf) had many stories to share of his adventures in China's club scene...couple with how Stacy is continually conned from one place to another..haha, sigh..pull up your socks on mandarin!!

Supposedly meeting my buddies for supper but jackass have to work so early retreat for me as well, meeting fazli for run in sentosa early morning!! Time for a nice lil tan before Suria on Tuesday...thanks for the lobang Macaque!

Eyes closing on me...thank u Lord for Your blessings in my life, I look around me and I know that you have blessed me with many things, friends, family, love and health...give me a knowing heart Lord that I do not greed and be selfish, always giving and placing wisdom above wealth and worldly desires.
I pray that my friend Gwen will be blessed and charged with strength to live and pursue her dreams in making her decision.
Lord only your love endures the test of time and the shallow judgement of men, help me gain strength from you everyday.
Love you Lord,
Amen

Joe

2006-09-12T10:14:00.000-07:00

Argh.

Can't seem to get enough rest these days...late for the 7 consecutive working day what in this world is wrong with me!!! F***!

Intensive lecture week again with so much to bitch about after class with Ken and Stacy. Can barely keep my eyes open in class..damn the stupid module. Be skipping class tmr for Capoeira so at least I have something to look forward to, well at least that is the only genuine thing that keeps me looking up despite all the setbacks. Thank God You always show me a way out of darkness =)

The damage is done, but the road to recovery is pretty much smooth sailing, life is in order and as Lee san would say, "This is the spring time of youth!!...wachoaaaaaaaaaaaa....". haha a bit lame but wtf, this is me =) Naruto would probably say," Watashi no Nindo desu.." My way..nothing more nothing less..

joe

2006-09-08T10:10:00.000-07:00

Running to??

Just had a relaxing night run along east coast...nice, slow with breeze and the nice after shower coolness in the air. As I indulge in the post run snacks, part of my mind floated to a space and time in the past, thinking..reflecting.

I was running, knowing where I wanted to go all along, knowing with whom and with what pace I am moving at. This direction became blurred somewhere along the line and we lost our ways. Strangely enough I'v not stopped. Still running and moving along but suspecting I'm lost somehow. My other half was running her own direction too. Part of me desire to reach out to her but part of me caged myself in to keep my distance. Tears and pain intensify with every step taken away from each other. But how do I catch her when I'v fallen so hard myself? I thought she knew where she was running to but why is she looking back with every step she takes? Where are we running to?

Dim sum tasted good, well the chaotic shade of sadness and confusion temporarily taken over by the yummy yum yum of Geylang...not that i did anything naughty.

Dear Lord, thank You for your glorious victory over death. Your way is before Your children and help me walk them with righteousness and just. Love You Lord.

In Jesus precious name, Amen.

Gd nite world - joe

2006-09-03T10:53:00.000-07:00

Bye Bye Grandpa

After much struggle and battle to keep himself up from the sickness, grandpa finally gave in on the 31st day of August, 2006. Funny he chose to go at a time when no one was there, perhaps yet another act of not imposing on people he left behind.

Grandpa had always been the man i respected as an old school loving father and head of a family...pulling my uncles and aunties..the grandchildren together, and always charismatic in his own way, quiet but wise, with lil words of wisdom in teochew for everybody. Looking at how fillial my uncles and aunties are warmed me up deeply, my grandpa indeed led a charmed life to have kids like these.

I couldn't offer any joss stick and incense and I also did not participate in the rituals in the wake because of the Christinized me but I was glad that God blessed me with understanding from my uncles and aunties to accept and stand by my belief. I only ask God to have mercy on my grandpa's soul.

Be sending grandpa on his final journey in a few hours time so time to hibernate i guess..

Joe

2006-08-29T10:10:00.000-07:00

Ready

After 2 Erdinger and a wee bit of hoegaarden, I am ready for my bed. Been thinking a lot about where I'm heading in life, companionship...my sense of freedom and all. Wonder why I seem to dwell so much into reflecting on these but perhaps everyone does as well..i dunno. I guess they are important issues at this stage of a person's life.

While I continue to sleep on these things, I can only rest assured that God has a plan and I have to learn to listen to Him. Many things in life we took for granted and by the time we lose them, there is absolutely no more turning back of time so I can only pray that I will never need to live these pain one more time, God help me.

Heavy eyelids...sleeping...sleeping....zzz

joe

2006-08-27T07:50:00.001-07:00

Sunday

Woke up to a cozy, comfortable Sunday morning with rain and feel good echos from the conversation just a few hours earlier in Sentosa. An eventful day with adventurous handphone hunt, one-on-one pool tutorial, yummy laksa, stroll along east coast and a walk with a husky named Bunny.."weird name still i thought"..all in the name of good company =)

One hell of a week coming right up in preparation to the next holiday workshop, Goosey Goosey..,crossing my fingers for absolutely zero hiccup!

Thank you Lord for preserving me, only You see everything and I ask for Your guidance in the path that I take in life. Help me to listen to Your voice and heed your calling Lord.
In Jesus name amen.

Joe

2006-08-24T09:32:00.000-07:00

I smiled

Strange folks appears in our life at funny times, almost like angels sent to pick us right up to our feet. The last few days has given me quite a few insights about choices people made...what they are based on, how they choose to live with those choices...some cried over the choices, while some simply suppress their heart with their mind. Why do we engage ourselves in such a tiresome game of relationship?

Meeting up with people who shares their tales of love and regrets made me realized all the more that making a choice is about making it for themselves and not for others, that if we believed in pursuing our own happiness, no one should have the right to stop us...and we take ownership of these choices.

Can't thank you enough for sharing Ms Lee, you are inspiring in your own fashion for your own struggles. I can only encourage you to let your choices be made around you, instead of you living around your choices...it can be over bearing. You know you'v earned my support at the end of the day no matter how you choose to live your life! =)

So why do we engage ourselves in the tiresome game of "love" if there's such a thing... maybe nothing can be gained at the end of the day...maybe there will be light at the end of the tunnel, but maybe its more because callings have been placed in our heart to reach out to those you care for by God, with a life span maybe but who would knows?

Ending this blog with a prayer;

Lord, Bless my friend Elyn, for the hurt she endured nurse her Lord, and grant Thy love and peace unto her life.
Bless my friend Joanne, that she may find in her heart the direction to carry on her walk, and the salvation of our Lord Jesus Christ be upon her too.
Bless my grandpa, that Lord You have mercy on him and take the cup of suffering from him. I pray that Thy salvation be upon his tired body.
Bless Melissa, that she will find strength in You Lord to be just and wise in her ways. Protect her O Lord, that she will never depart from Your light.
Bless me O Lord, give me the courage to move on and hold on to Your words Lord.
I pray in Jesus Blessed Name, Amen.

Axe.

2006-08-20T07:26:00.000-07:00

Dopod

As bad as times are for me emotionally, I forced my way to Hello Singtel to reward myself with my long awaited mobile and it is chosen, yes...the much talked about "Dopod", one hell of a cool machine for a cool persona!

Well shit always happen to me ad indeed I can't seem to sync the device to my laptop. Gonna ask for help tomorrow at some technical help desk, as I always had to sort it out.

And we have come to the end of The Very Pornographic Caterpillar so hoorah!! Back to the office for now.

Boring Sunday..bye bye..

joe

2006-08-19T09:51:00.000-07:00

Bring it on.

Bad things seem to have fallen in love with me of late...from my break up with the gir i love to my grandpa failing body and critical condition. My mum is so victimised by all that had happened.

How much challenges can one take in such a short time?

Lord, take charge of my life and give me the strength to carry on.

At a time like this, I will standby my mum and support her when she needs to fall, challenges are harsh in life but what the heck..if they come, bring it on...

joe

2006-08-17T10:30:00.000-07:00

On my way to gym

Trained really hard with Miudinho in the gym on wednesday. Realized that we'v lost so much stamina and technical skill...well you gotta do what you gotta do man. I smell the axe in the air...ain't no love for me now, only my art and God.

Love you Lord, preserve me and keep me in your way.

joe

2006-08-17T03:09:00.000-07:00

TO THE WHOLE WORLD!

STOP SAYING YOU ARE SORRY!!!!! I AM MOVING ON...

I AM FINE!

I HAVE FALLEN BUT I'M CLIMBING BACK UP.

STOP SAYING YOU ARE SORRY!!!

JOE

2006-08-15T07:21:00.000-07:00

My interest in alchemy..refinement of the human spirit

The alchemists held that the metals are one in essence, and spring from the same seed in the womb of nature, but are not all equally matured and perfect, gold being the highest product of Nature's powers. In gold, the alchemist saw a picture of the regenerate man, resplendent with spiritual beauty, overcoming all temptations and proof against evil; whilst he regarded lead -- the basest of the metals -- as typical of the sinful and unregenerate man, stamped with the hideousness of sin and easily overcome by temptation and evil; for whilst gold withstood the action of fire and all known corrosive liquids (save aqua regia alone), lead was most easily acted upon.

We are told that the Philosopher's Stone, which would bring about the desired grand transmutation, is of a species with gold itself and purer than the purest; understood in the mystical sense this means that the regeneration of man can be effected only by Goodness itself -- in terms of Christian theology, by the Power of the Spirit of Christ. The Philosopher's Stone was regarded as symbolical of Christ Jesus, and in this sense we can understand the otherwise incredible powers attributed to it.

This is the Spirit of Truth, which the world cannot comprehend without the interposition of the Holy Ghost, or without the instruction of those who know it. The same is of a mysterious nature, wondrous strength, boundless power.... By Avicenna this Spirit is named the Soul of the World. For, as the Soul moves all the limbs of the Body, so also does this Spirit move all bodies. And as the Soul is in all the limbs of the Body, so also is this Spirit in all elementary created things. It is sought by many and found by few. It is beheld from afar and found near; for it exists in every thing, in every place, and at all times. It has the powers of all creatures; its action is found in all elements, and the qualities of all things are therein, even in the highest perfection . . . it heals all dead and living bodies without other medicine, converts all metallic bodies into gold, and there is nothing like unto it under Heaven

2006-08-15T03:06:00.000-07:00

This is family ...

2006-08-15T02:37:00.000-07:00

Mum is back

Mum is finally back from Scotland..with much tale to tell of course with all the terrorist alert going in UK. Can tell that she had a great time with Sis and kids, my lovely niece and nephew, so darn adorable.

Remembering how she was worried about me since last week makes my heart ache, poor mother, I love you.

I'm slowly recovering and Albert can vouch for me that my appetite is good! Turning my depression to determination is probably the best thing to do now, exercise Joe..ain't gonna waste my life being pathetic.

For God, for mum, for myself.

joe

2006-08-13T09:28:00.000-07:00

I love this place, can't you tell? I'm the first one to reach and I even smell of this place...

Jubilee Hall, hoorah!

Pretty little sanctuary in the middle of Monkey Forest...dream and maybe you'l find it with your heart.

(Otherwise you can fly there via SQ or one of the budget air for better bargains. )

2006-08-13T09:13:00.000-07:00

The Mixed Up Chameleon

Working in Jubilee Hall for this production called the mixed up chameleon..really loves it!! such a funky little dude tat hops around in the elmo fashion and really adorable I can keep it as a pet!

Well basically the story is about how this mixed up chameleon long to become or rather, possess the characteristic of different animals that he met in the zoo. He got his wishes and became real funny with different parts of the different animals on him. He soon became hungry and long for his food (fly....gross...) but find himself in the situation where he can no longer do what he loves most. He made his final wish, and turned himself back to a chameleon. He caught the fly with his long, sticky tongue and then started hopping around again and I was like so happy haha!!

Well I guess people are like that aren't they? Hoping to have what others have and realising that what makes them complete is not what others are but who they really are. Good revelation at this time of my life too =)

Well basically finding that little entertainment I can get from my job to cheer me up.

Another tiring day actually but ended it with an enlightening dinner with Aimin who is flying off to London real soon. Good luck girl!

joe

2006-08-12T08:47:00.000-07:00

Me and Honda stucked in a stupid jam on route to Jubilee Hall...

2006-08-12T07:21:00.000-07:00

Prolonged infatuation, lust and trust

A tired day at Jubilee Hall which ended with spectacular fire works display.

Interesting to reflect that my perspective about relationship has changed so much within a mere two weeks.

I used to think that this world spins for love and that it conquers all odds, believing that believing it will give me the blessing of true love too. But I can now see it from another point of view too, that this romantic mindset can be the work of a prolonged infatuation, lust or trust between two person. What is love after 36 years of marriage, 5 children and 6 grandchildren? What is love after more than 3 wives, at 3 different countries, all at the same time? And what is love after 6 years of companionship, two pillars by the grace of God and one hell of a depression, walking out of each other's life?

The beauty of fireworks was never how beautiful it peforms on the night sky, its always the story it tells of the people who are watching it together. The only thing that came to my mind was how much I could share the moment with people who really matters in my life, whoever and wherever they are.

Thank God You are here to catch me when I fall, make me strong and keep my faith in You Lord.

The journey to recovery starts with the grace of a forgiving heart.

joe

2006-08-11T10:31:00.000-07:00

Bored to death in the confinement of office hour..

What doesn't kill you makes you stronger...really?

How many who went through crisis and depression really becomes stronger...statistically? I'v often ponder on the truth of that sentence. It suddenly occurs to me that I am now challenged to become stronger by my own circumstances...how will I be remembered...what choices awaits...how will my life unfold in the days, months or years to come?

The tide of life carries one on a roller coaster ride and if we hold on long enough, we may see the beautiful beach and half naked native women with arm pit hair waving and singing to you...yea, that's life man, you get your rewards, sometimes...

I thank God for bringing me through another day, He will nurse me back to sanity and obedience. Love you Lord, always had, always will. Amen.

signing out of here

joe

2006-08-10T11:13:00.000-07:00

Quiet moment after the surf...thinking of a distant love dear to my heart.

The board named Red.

Wise man:

Women ...they come and go all the time...
Your art..it stays with you okay??

...wise man..(fat one)

A single journey in and out, stepping on, and breathing in the shade of freedom.

Who knows what treasures await your next step, move on, for the world is so...

...wise man (thin one)

2006-08-10T06:35:00.000-07:00

Revelation of emotions, dawn of a new me

6 years, a time too long to forget, too short to cherish...indeed earthly joy passes as quickly as your heartbeat but only the love of God endures the treachery of time.

The end of a season marks the beginning of a new one, how and with whom will I walk with. Flowers will fall but the wind still blows. How I felt cannot be unfelt, but what remains does not matter.

Love my friends, love my family, love God. And how I wish I can love the gal whom had stolen my heart 6 years ago.

Life goes on, sun will rise and I will keep on walking.